Work stories

I, like the vast majority of humanity, work to survive. Unlike the legions of others who live on subsistence farming and nomadic ways of life, I live in relative splendor. However, such decadent living comes at a price. For some it is tireless hours at the office. Others it is at the machine in front of the assembly line. Again for people, whom I find myself lumped with, it is in the service industry toiling to "please customers."

This isn't me at all at work.

Working comes ith amusing stories as I'm forced to deal with endless masses of people all slobbering for their ridiculous movies, cds and books. Customer service isn't a strong suite of mine when most customers are idiots. I will amuse you with some sample dialog from 4 years at the same job. Note these have occurred on numerous occasions.

Customer: "If I sing you a song can you tell me who sings it?"
Me: "I can try"
Customer sings
Me: "I don't know what song it is sorry."
Customer: "Why not? You work at a music store. You should know"

Customer: "I can't find Avril Lavigne any where in the A's"
Me: "Did you try L?"
Customer: "Why would she be in the L's?"

Customer walks into the store and immediately stops at desk.
Customer: "Where are your movies to rent?"
Me: "To your left along the wall."
Customer: "Cool. Can you check to see how much credit I have on my card?"

Of course, these just get annoying by the sheer amount I have had to answer them. Some situations though have dumbfounded me. I've been yelled at for refusing to buy back from a customer a broken xbox; cursed at for 50 cents in late fees; and scolded for not knowing what was going to happen when the Harry Potter book comes out. In the moment, it is agitating. It hindsight, I'm confused and find each one ridiculous.

However, as absurd as each one of the previous examples are there are others that test my abilities to stay reasonable to customers. My favorite example is the Stink Bomb Scare.

WMD to many.

It had been a pleasant night at my job. Normally I don't get to work in a department and am forced to be a manager. This night though was nice as I didn't have to deal with irate customers. So I thought. We received a phone call as we often do. The girl who answered it wanted to have me answer a simple question which I quickly directed her to do after supplying the answer to her. The question was do we sell stinks bombs at our store which we do in packs of three for two dollars.

With a groan,the girl gave the caller the answer. A puzzled look came on her face before turning away from the phone to ask what was in the stink bombs. Rolling my eyes, I trudged to the back of the lifestyles department and snatched the item from the shelf. In my hand I returned to hand it to the phone answerer. She rebuffed my attempted and said it was better if I handled it. With a grunt of anger I picked up the phone. The voice on the other end snarled at a new voice.

Typically, I handle customers with a fair and just manner. This circumstances transcended it all. The voice was of an older lady and asked who I was. Answering her with my name and why I was put on the phone to answer the question. She bombarded me with the question of what was in the package. I listed off the three ingredients none which presented a safety hazard. As soon as she finished she wanted to know what each one did, to which I confessed I had no clue and searched the package for the answer.

Not satisfied and her rage unabated, she regaled me with a tale of why she was calling. Two 12-year-old boys were planning and using some in the presence of an asthmatic. She was wondering where they got such a violent weapon and with a certain air on confusion said to me, "I thought Hastings sold books, movies and music. Why would you sell these things?"

Criminal masterminds?

At this point, a feeling of regret for taking the the phone call came over me, and I decried to myself the girl who threw me under this bus. In a calm voice to the woman, I explained that it was a novelty item and for fun. This was the wrong answer. The phone caller asked if I ordered them. No I explained. I just get what is shipped from our warehouse and put them out. She grilled me if I given the choice would stock them. Again, a very unsatisfactory answer for her. It was at this moment she pulled the ace from her sleeve. For particular purposes, I will give the entirity of her comment.

"I see. Well I hope you know that I am an educator and I find that Hastings selling this stink bomb terrible. I will come in tomorrow and if you still have them on your shelves I will talk to the local chamber of Commerce and lodge a complaint about Hastings."

It was at the moment she mentioned that she was an educator I forced a laugh down. Part of me was tempted to say "Yeah. So am I." Of course I realized this would be as effective as claiming her down as one would do by throwing a rock at a large, upset bear that had just had its dinner stolen.

The conversation didn't last long after that. I apologized for the situation but couldn't do anything. Once the phone was safely hung up, I turned and laughed.
The moral of the story is that Stink bombs are dangerous and should be banned by in the US. So join me in a petition to your local congressperson to make stink bombs illegal. Together we can ride the world of these dangerous weapons.

Do you want your house to look like this? It will unless you join me.

Ridiculous Songs I enjoy

A long time ago, in a land not so different from the one we currently live in, lived a man. This man's name was Chris. and Chris thought he was a punk. However, as much as Chris loved listening to Rancid, Operation Ivy, and Blood Brothers, there was a musical genre that he hid his love for.
Adult Contemporary Rock.
Yes, Chris was a big fan of songs such as "Baby Baby" by Amy Grant; "Hold On" by Wilson Philips; and "Heaven is a Place on Earth" by Belinda Carlise. The list continues as you could include others like Celine Dion, Bangles, and Phil Collins. Chris enjoyed these songs unironically in a pre Harlod and Kumar go to White Castle world.

As you could imagine, the passion for these songs clashed with Chris's punk imagine. How could he rock out to one and still have room in his heart for the other? Well he hid his love for the adult contemporary. Much as a teenage boy (which I was) would hid his playboys under a mattress, I would secretly turn up the Bangles, Amy Grant and others when they appeared on the radio, for it was the only place in the world where I could enjoy them without being mocked.

As time passed, the music I enjoyed slightly changed. Now I find myself listening to Bieber, Ms. Black, and Robin Sparkles. When pressed, I defend these songs as one would defend a loved one or a friend. Yes, Bieber is a douche. Yes, Ms. Black can't sing that well. Yes, Robin Sparkles is a fictional character from a tv (one of the best backstories ever). However, their songs are so brilliant and catchy that, damnit, I like em.

When you get down to it, any song you like has to be catchy and pleasing. Emmy and I agree that while we may not like them as people or the idea of them, we've caught ourselves humming "Best of Both Worlds" when alone, or belting out in the shower "The Sign." Ok. The last one I'm not allowed to play or sing any where around Emmy. In fact, she took my Ace of Base tape, and it is currently in her purse at the moment. The point remains that you are denying yourself something nice by always hating someone cause they're popular. They're popular because their music is good; so lighten up and listen to some N*sync.
Which I can name all the members of.
Seriously ask Emmy.

Prewriting Fun

So for those who keep up with my life, I am writing a novel. Now as part of the writing process, before I write in my novel each day, I prewrite something. I have a separate word document for all my pre writing. Now I just usually write whatever comes to mind. Most of the time I am writing parts of my novel. I've addressed this before.
By request by my lovely Emmy, I am posting my new prewriting post. This is a star wars prewriting I did because I like Star wars.

Blaster fire forced the small squad of republic troops into the narrow corridor in the back of the base. Replacing the power pack, Lorak Tindartossed aside a empty one, it harmlessly bounced across the floor illuminated by the bright bolts of blue and red. Sith warriors and troopers had breached the base's defenses several hours early and the last troopers in the corridor were all that remained between them and the new defense plans laid out by the Jedi council. Lorak poked his head out to get a glimpse of how many where there.
A total of 20 he could see and three sith warriors. Damn he thought.
The squad had whittled down the Empire's force for hours but orginially there had been about one hundred of them and enough weapons to keep them at bay. Blasters and rocket launchers worked wonders on the enemy, taking down not only down normal troopers and droids but sith warriors as well. However, it been a bad shot or two that had destroyed their defense turrets allowing more to push through the gates.
Lorak leveled this blaster carbine at one trooper in front with a large heavy blaster and with four successive shots, sent the trooper down on the ground. Not that it made a difference to his comrades, most of who just walked over the corpse. Two warriors made their way to the front to provide cover from the barriage of blaster fire. Nodding to one of his squad members, Lorak watched as his team member lift up their last heavy weapon and fire it. It collided with the two warriors whom had been concentrating more on the blaster fire.
Great! Two less we have to worry about.
He peered down at his own armor. The last one who had been close had killed four members and almost cut off Lorak's arm.
Poking his head back up above the crate, he waited for the smoke and dust to clear. He couldn't make out anything in the debris for a second before noticing a pair of two red glows. He growled at the realization the two survived.
“troopers! Concentrate fire high and low on the two warriors. Take them out. Any gernades perpare to throw.”
A clattering of weapons formed behind him as he swtiched from a single fire to autofire mode on the gun. In an instant the air was a flash of blue as his whole squad fire at once at the warriors. One warrior attempted to block the bolts with his lightsaber, meeting a disater as several hit him square in the chest and in the legs. The warrior dropped his guard allowing Lorak to shred his armor with the blaster. The other warrior threw up a force defense and the blots reflected back, missing any republic souls.
Concentrate on the one now! Gernades throw!
Along with the blaster bolts, a mixture of frag and cyro grenades flew towards the sith warrior. Premature explosions and misses took down troopers

I regard any grammatical mistakes as part of the writing process especially the part that allows me to. Enjoy.

Project Unification

I find writing an interesting beginning to a blog post the most difficult part. I have to capture your interest in just a few short lines. If I don't, you won't read past this line.

If you are still here, thank you very much. I'm still clueless how to get to my topic. So to solve this problem, I will shout nouns at you.

VIDEO GAMES!
NOVEL!
FOOD!
REAL LIFE!

Ok with the shouting over, it is back to an actual topic.


Life has been stressful lately for Emmy and I. We've both been working to get things together for the big move. Applying to districts is not fun especially when each application is an long and arduous process.Well this is all happening, I'm being a substitute teacher and still working at Hastings. And on top of these, my car is going to be replaced. To make it clear my feelings on car shopping and job hunting, I'm going to make it a separate paragraph.

I hate car shopping and job hunting.

With Emmy there is super awesome news; Mike has recently indicated to Emmy (via thumbs up I imagine) that things with her job and the audit are awesome. She has been working her butt off these past months. So she deserves a high five for all the work and if I was there, she'd get a little something something. ;)

With all these things going so well, we're going to be able to be back together super soon which is super awesome. HOORAY!

Career Time

Lately, I've been on this kick. It has been a pretty interesting kick to be on; Although, it is nothing people should be worried about in the slightest. This particular kick consists of me going online looking at apartments in the D.C. Area, looking at school districts in the surrounding area, and checking out new cars. What is this kick for some may ask (and if you have to ask, we haven't spoke for some time)? The kick is that I'm excited to move, and I'm checking out everything I can.

The first part of the kick is that Emmy and I need a place to live. Her current residence, her grandmother's house, won't do for us. The biggest reason might be that Emmy's grandmother doesn't want two of in the same house. She wants to give us some space so we can watch our own television shows. Emmy's grandmother loves Glee, but Emmy and I aren't big fans of it. This way everyone is happy. The area we're looking at is Silver Spring. Check in out on a map to find out the area. it will be awesome to have our own place finally.

The second part of the kick is looking at school districts. This is the job stuff mostly. I hate job hunting, and it is made worse by being the fact the very jobs I'm looking for are career jobs. Slowly, my resume and all my credential material have been gathered and now all that remains is polishing them and sending them. At the same time, I have to be aggressive (not a grr grr aggressive but like a really firm handshake aggressive). I've picked out several school districts in the area and will be applying to those. Among those are Montgomery County, Howard County, Baltimore, Annapolis and DC. It will be a wild ride to see where I end up. This is the scary part.

Last but not least, my mighty Stratus has had a fulfilling life. It has gone many places and seen many things. The one thing that always prevented it from truly being a champion is that would consistently cost me money. The latest in a long line of repairs is the engine. To be more exact, the piston rings are wearing out and letting oil slip into the combustion chamber. Everytime I start up my car and sometimes while idling, a nice blue puff of smoke comes from the tail pipe. I don't doubt my car's abilities to continue with the fluid seeping into its lungs. What I do doubt is my car's chances at passing the emission test.

This brings up the real topic of this blog: a discussion about Post Grad.



I used to always see advertisements for this particular movie staring Alexis Bidel up on the USU campus. It looked interesting to say the least, but I never found myself at the theater to see it. However, I did pressure Emmy to go see it with her friend Maddie who had graduated yet had not got a job. They never did see it. It was too disheartening for her friend so they saw another movie. It was a small amount of time later Emmy and I watched it together.
Now at the time it was funny. However, in hindsight and being forced to face the reality that was depicted so accurately in the movie, we loath it.

Now don't get me wrong, it was a well crafted film with excellent performers like Alexis Bidel and Michael Keaton. The reason we loath it is the simple fact that it is an unpleasant spot to be in life and having it shoved in your face by a movie just makes it worse. I dislike this whole time of finding a career cause if I don't I'll be screwed.

Blerg.

A deep personal confession (be prepared)

I've held this secret in for a long time from the general public.  I've guarded this secret for many many years with only a few people knowing of it. It is time that I announce it to the world on whole. For this, I thought what better place to do it than the internet! With little or no fanfare, the secret shall be unleashed now.

I am a nerd and a geek.

I refused to accept those labels when I was younger. Instead, I want to be called a punk. High school Chris very much imagine post graduation that he'd be wearing leather and studs with spiked hair. 24-year-old Chris now realizes and groans at the thought of high school Chris. To relate a perfect anecdote about this subject I will tell about the first time I brought Emmy to meet my parents in Idaho.

It was a nice spring day, we took my car. Once in Soda Springs, my parents greeted both of us warmly. It was a great visit. However, before we left my stepdad says, "Oh Chris, I found something of yours."

I assumed it was an item of little value. He went to his bedroom and came back with a bracelet, a bracelet that I thought lost to the ages and moving. This particular bracelet had occasionally crossed my mind while I was still in high school for I lost it in 9th grade. Once out of my freshman year of college though, I secretly was glad that it was gone. Or so I thought. This bracelet was a leather studded bracelet for a young punk rock Chris.



The look on Emmy's face was priceless as she saw what Steve revealed. My face, on the other hand, was a mixture of horror and agony as I saw the lost item. My eyes wide Emmy smiled huge as Steve gave my studded bracelet back to me. Taken away as punishment for wearing it at the wrong time and place. My childhood notions of what was cool came back to thrust in my face the harsh realities of how absurd they were. The older Chris shudders as he looks at a year book.

Anyways, I denied to myself the vigilant truth of my youth. Despite my attempts to call myself a punk, I wasn't. Sure I listened to the music but the real rebeliousness of being a punk was lost on me. I was smart, driven and interested in things. At USU, I tried for a year to maintain my punk edge but found it not the right place for me. It wasn't me.

Which brings me completely back to my point. I am a geek and a nerd (honestly some would split hairs here, I'm happy with either title although both titles together really hit me dead on). In high school I hid my nerdy and geeky passions, no one really knew that I played video games or if they did they thought it limited to Halo. And no one especially knew that I would play Yu Gi Oh cards. Oh yes I did. I still have them.



I'm proud of those parts of me that I wasn't denied. Emmy knows and supports my stupid (for me they are stupid) and embarrassing (for me they are embarrassing) interests. A lot of people know me as the biggest Halo fan. I am not on the extreme where I would spend thousands of dollars on a master Chief outfit. I would totally go to Comic Con as an Odst though with Emmy. I own all the Halo games and all the books and all the comics. Halo is a passion as it struck some interest deep down in me.

Emmy and I are planning on having lightsaber fights every night to decide who will cook dinner. These are the FX master replica ones. We will have them proudly mounted on the wall. I own all the movies; honestly I love all the movies but criticize them all equally. I play star wars RPG and love the KOTOR games. I would seriously love being a jedi.




Part of this confession is partially selfish I must admit. A younger Chris would cringe at these admissions but I realize that it is nice to say that I love things and not hide them. I denied so much to myself in an attempt to appear cool. I admit having Emmy makes all this easier. She knows about my nerdiness and geekness, my dorkness, whatever label you want to call it. I love those parts about her and she loves those parts about me.


This isn't to say I would label myself solely as those words. Labels aren't bad. They help us identify I feel but using just one denies parts ourselves. I am still a punk in ways but I am so many other things.

Regardless, I have passions that are nerdy or geeky and I love them. I'd be prepared for many more in the future.

Novel Progress

I'd like to say my blog is full of insight and humor; however, the truth remains it is probably just a collection of my random thoughts, attempts at humor and a diary of my life. However, here I am plugging away at it. Updating things so everyone can see.

My novel progress. I want to make a pun out of it but sadly my mind is failing me at the moment. I'm up to 175 pages with my history chapter or 160 without. I've been giving some thought to my rewrites for some parts and one chapter/part is the history pages. I either need to rework them to be less dry or work them into the novel so you can still get it but not as blah. Also armor descriptions. Balin's armor has never been described in the book, but now I've wrote something for his armor.

My friend Kim is coming to town today so I may get a haircut but I'll just hang out with her later this week and get one then so I don't see like a douche.  All my hang out clothes are washing so I may have to dress up for hanging out. Awkward. I know . But meh.

I miss Emmy but soon I'll fly out there and we'll hang for a week of fun and games. Feb 24!